After a morning of poking around on my Facebook friend's profiles, I've decided that FB may just have been created to make a mockery of me. I'm having mixed feelings about it at this moment....Page after page of old friends and acquaintances and their "happily married" and "picture perfect families" splashed all over their walls and photo albums.
I am very much aware that my FB profile shows that I am not married, not in a relationship (although I am) and does show that my birthday is right around the corner. I am inching that much more closer to the big 3-0 ( 29 next year) and I have yet to decide what the hell I want to be when I grow up.
Granted, I am a young mom. I have an amazing 8 year old son who I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. He is my light and my reason for living. However, I am reminded by all these faces from my teenage years that my plans weren't exactly this. I wasn't planning on getting married until I was 25, nor having kids until I was at least 27. My life's choices had been set in mental stone: graduate high school, go to college and graduate by the time I was 21, live life by traveling and hopefully meet the person I planned to marry along the way. Get married at 25, etc.
Hell. That sure didn't happen and now as I'm left starring at all the smiling faces of my past with their beautiful children in tow, I can't help but wonder - did I fall behind, fall off track, or refuse to settle? After all, it wasn't that long ago that I was some one's fiancée which ultimately ended up as a broken engagement. I have yet to graduate with my Bachelors degree, although I am nearing that first hurdle. Man, did I do everything backwards! =/
Regardless, I can only feel blessed for having an amazing son who thinks the world of me and vice versa, a wonderful family as support and an awesome boyfriend who treats me just how I should have been treated these past few years...
I do realize where it was that I went off path but I can only appreciate that time frame that involved that. It turned me into a much more appreciative, caring soul and that is something that I know makes me who I am. I can not measure myself against anyone else, nor allow myself to live by someone else's standards if I am to be happy. After all, everyone's story is different and uniquely their own. I just need to remind myself that I'm still writing mine and all of my characters are still being introduced or edited...
